Friday, May 29, 2020

HUDSON'S BIRTH STORY

It's hard to believe, but Hudson is already almost EIGHT months old and I am just now sitting down to write out Hudson's birth story. (I actually started this post when he had just turned four months old and I am just now finishing it). I'm so thankful Matthew took notes in his phone to help me remember the small details I don't remember or catch. This is going to be a very long post, but I want to remember everything (& and all the events leading up to Hudson's birth) for years to come.

Friday, September 27th
We'll start with my regular weekly appointment on Friday (13 days before my due date; 6 days before Hudson was born). I woke up feeling fine, large and swollen, but fine. At our appointment the nurse checked my blood pressure like normal and it was high (142/84). The nurse asked if my vision was okay and if I had a headache at all that morning. I had neither so she said she would tell my doctor and be back.  My doctor immediately comes into the room after that and told us that he was sending us over to the hospital to be monitored for a few hours and if my blood pressure didn't come down within a few hours they would start the induction process that afternoon. I am pretty sure all of the color drained from mine and Matthew's face. We were both shocked because we didn't even know my blood pressure was high, but turns out they do not mess around when your blood pressure is even slightly high at 38 weeks! We asked if we could run home and grab a few things and come straight back to the hospital (we live pretty close to the hospital I was delivering at) and my doctor advised us that it would be best to just go straight to the hospital. I tried to keep it together on the way over to the hospital because I knew getting upset would not help my blood pressure, but I was just so shocked. I still had some things I wanted to wrap up at work, some cleaning around the house and to finish packing our hospital bags (lol). I got checked into the hospital and hooked up to all the monitors and was monitored for around 2 hours. We had the sweetest nurse, nurse K, who answered all my questions and helped reassure me that all was going to be fine (bless her). We watched my blood pressure drop over the next 2 hours and I was discharged to go home with strict orders from my doctor to be on moderate bed rest and to come straight to L&D if I have any headaches or vision changes over the weekend and a follow up appointment the following Monday.

Matthew took this snapchat that morning. 


Saturday, September 28th - Sunday, September 29th 
That weekend we did take it easy. We went on one last date night before Hudson was born to Puckett's up on the square on Friday night and on Saturday afternoon we went to my best friend's little girl's first birthday party. My swelling was at an all time high and it was HOT that weekend. I basically wore a dress the whole weekend and sat with my feet propped up to help with the swelling as much as I could. Anytime that I was home (or in the car) I had on compression socks to somewhat help with the swelling. We did one last quick clean that weekend just in case they induced me on Monday morning after my follow up appointment. I had deep cleaned our house about a week before all of this- so glad I did that!! Sunday morning we sang one of my favorite songs at church, "It is Well", and I had the biggest lump in my throat the whole time we sang it. My biggest prayer that weekend was that whatever we were told at our appointment Monday morning that I would be okay with it and trust that God had everything planned out. I remember sitting on the couch Sunday night watching TV with Matthew and just kept thinking how this could be our last weekend just the two of us...spoiler alert, it was! I was so excited and so anxious, but so very thankful.

Two pair of compression socks and ice on my cankles

Snapped a quick picture at my parents house...look at my belly! I was swollen all over.

Evelyn's 1st birthday party! She was literally sitting on my belly it was so huge!!


Monday. September 30th 
Bright and early Monday morning Matthew and I met my dad at his work to turn my lease car in and get my new one....talk about perfect timing! We loaded our hospital bags, pillows, and car seat in the back because we planned on going to my doctor's appointment after. We had some time before our appointment so we decided to swing by a local fire station and let them install (and show us how) the car seat. We had an idea on how to install it, but both felt better about having them do it. While we were there I got a meeting invite from the VP of my department for the next morning. These kind of invites usually don't come with good news so I immediately started stressing out. Matthew kept reminding me that I needed to try and relax so my blood pressure didn't get too high. Awful timing to receive that email before our doctor's appointment that morning. After talking with some co-workers we pretty much all came to the conclusion that they were shutting our office down and that we would all work remotely (we all had a feeling this was coming, so not that big of a surprise).

We got to our doctor's appointment and my blood pressure wasn't as high as on Friday, but still was 126/82. We were all relieved and my doctor sent me home and told me to continue taking it easy and to let them know right away if I had any vision changes/headaches. I had another scheduled appointment for that Wednesday, 10/2.

I decided to go eat lunch with my mom at her work and fill her in on our appointment that afternoon. While I was eating lunch with my mom my doctor's office called and it was my Doctor's Nurse Practitioner. He had her call because he was called into emergency surgery, but wanted to let me know that he felt very strongly that I needed to go on and be induced that week...that Thursday, October 3rd. He was worried about my blood pressure and that if I waited too much longer Hudson and I would both be in danger. Needless to say I was so shocked because I thought my blood pressure reading that morning was fine. My NP agreed that it wasn't high that morning, but that my doctor was still very worried about it getting higher and no one knowing (since I didn't have any signs of it getting high before). So it was planned, I was going to be induced Wednesday night. She informed me that my doctor would discuss everything in detail at my scheduled appointment that following Wednesday morning. At first I wanted to try and talk my doctor out of the induction, because that is not what I wanted at all. I wanted to be able to go into labor on my own, but quickly realized that my doctor was doing what was best for us. Just because I realized this does not mean I was 100% okay with this. I was SO bummed. Not at all that I was having our sweet boy THAT week, but bummed because I thought I did everything right (my whole pregnancy) and that weekend. I rested, drank so much water, and propped my feet up basically the entire weekend (I even put ice packs on my ankles that weekend to help with the swelling). So even with the excitement there was still a level of shock/disappointment.

I went straight home to tell Matthew about my call after we hung up. On the way home the song 'Soul's Anthem (It is Well)' by Tori Kelly came on and I just lost it. So many overwhelming emotions. It was one of those "Okay God, I see you" moments. I told Matthew right after I got home and we both just sat there on the couch kind of in a daze. I mean, you know you're about to have a baby when you are 38 weeks, but when you have a scheduled induction you KNOW. Matthew kept saying "okay okay okay" in a really high pitched voice and we just kept laughing. So thankful for Matthew's humor and his ability to know just how to calm me down. Somehow we both got back to work after that. I think I realized I only had a couple of days left before maternity leave, so something just clicked and I knocked out A LOT on my work to-do list the next couple of days.

Tuesday, October 1st - Baby MONTH!!
I needed to go into the office for our meeting with our VP and to get a few things since it would be my last day in the office before I went on maternity leave. Even though I had a feeling I knew what the meeting was about. I was still pretty anxious about it. I turned on my music for my commute and the first song that started playing was Tori Kelly's 'Soul's Anthem (It is Well)". I just lost it all over again. I listened to it on repeat my whole commute (about 60 minutes) to work that morning and cried the.whole.way.there. The line in that song, "Everything I see tells me to let go. Yet it is well with my soul"...full on alligator tears. I trusted God and I trusted my doctor, but I am still human (a very emotional almost 39 weeks pregnant human at that) so the tears just flowed and flowed while I drove in my compression socks and ate my pop-tart (if that doesn't scream pregnancy I don't know what does). At that moment there were just so many unknown things up in the air with my job and planned induction the very next day. I'm so thankful for that 60 minute commute that morning. Little did I know at the time, but it was my last commute to the office and it was my last time in the car, by myself, with Hudson in the womb and not in his car seat.

In our meeting we were told what we had already known. They were closing our office effective November 22nd. I would already be on maternity leave then so I had to clean out my cubicle and take anything I needed that day. Perfect timing, yet again. While being able to work from home is an absolute blessing and something I have wanted and prayed about for years, there is still a small part of me that misses our office and working side by side with my co-workers. I spent that afternoon working and then cleaning out my cubicle. We were told to take any office supplies we needed so I grabbed another monitor so that I could have three at home like I did in the office. One of the best ideas I had that day, ha! I took one last trip to the bathroom (I learned very quickly to make sure I do that before leaving the office and driving the hour back home lol) on the floor above us and then told everyone bye and waddled out with my cart all loaded up. Again, cue all the emotions. I worked in that office for a little over 4 years and I knew I was going to miss it.



Wednesday, October 2nd - Induction Day
My scheduled weekly appointment for this day wasn't until 10:30am so I took it really slow that morning. Making sure I had everything ready just in case he decided to send us over to the hospital that morning instead of that night. At my appointment my blood pressure was 140/94 and that just confirmed that inducing me that night was the best plan of action for us both. My doctor checked again and I still wasn't dilated, I was bummed, but pretty much already knew that. He explained to us every part of the induction process that would start that night and what to expect. He wanted to do two doses of Cytotec and then see where we were in the morning when he made rounds at the hospital. He told us to go home and to take it easy and be at the hospital at 9pm that night and that he would see us in the morning at the hospital. We came back home and I wrapped up things for work the rest of the afternoon. I was so thankful to get everything done and to successfully hand off all my active project to the appropriate person. I was at inbox zero and turned on my out of office message right at 5:00pm that afternoon and felt so relieved. I remember taking a long hot shower before going to dinner and just staring at my big belly thinking how in the world had the past (almost) 9 months passed so quickly...cue the water works again.

We decided to go to Newk's for dinner. I didn't want anything too heavy, but also wanted carbs so that seemed like a good choice lol. As we were ordering the cake slices caught my eye and I grabbed a piece of strawberry cake...if I was about to give birth I definitely needed the strawberry cake. ;) I only ate half of the slice that night and ended up eating the rest the day after we came home from the hospital. The strawberry cake proved to be a good decision both days!

After dinner we went back home and just laid on the bed talking and playing with Reagan. I am positive Reagan knew something was up because she was so cuddly and sweet. We laid there as long as we could until it was time to head to the hospital. We already had the car loaded so we turned everything off, said bye to Reagan and headed out. My sister stayed at our house while we were at the hospital and took care of Reagan for us. Surprisingly, it was a pretty quiet car ride. I remembered to snap a quick picture of us. No makeup, swollen, anxious, and excited!

We got checked into the L&D floor and they took us to our room. I had Matthew take one last bump picture before I changed into the hospital gown. I purposely wore this dress in and packed it away in my bag to pull out and wear when we were leaving the hospital. I just about LIVED in this dress (and the green one) over the summer and knew it was the perfect choice to wear home.


I asked Matthew to keep detailed notes of everything because I knew I wouldn't be able to remember everything. His notes make me laugh every time I read them!! After we got settled in our nurse came in and started getting things going for the night (introduced herself, asked questions, answered questions, checked vitals, etc.). She was about to hook me up to the fetal monitor when I asked if the wireless fetal monitoring was available. She checked and it was, I was pretty excited about not being tied to the bed, basically, and the ability to get up and down to the bathroom without needing them to come in and unhook me and such. Bathroom breaks at this point were verrrrry frequent and I hate asking for help when I know they are busy. All I remember about this monitor is that it worked well and had a human name, Monica. I hope to be able to use this with all future births. My nurse got me hooked up to all the things, blood pressure, checked my temperature, and then tried to inset my IV. The first attempt in my arm blew a vein so she had to try the other arm. Thankfully she got it after the first try.

I was ready for my first round of Cytotec, but my nurse informed us that I was having contractions and that she would need to give me a bolus of fluid to try and space them out. Matthew and I were pretty shocked by that because I wasn't really feeling anything. I felt a little crampy, but nothing out of the ordinary. So she started the bag of fluid and said she would be back. We just hung out and talked until she came back (about 45 minutes later). The fluid helped space out my contractions and she was able to start the first round of Cytotec at 11:15pm. She also checked and I still hadn't dilated and my cervix was still really high. My cervix being so high caused these checks to be extremely painful. So painful that it literally made me sick to my stomach, yelp and cry a little. I should also note that having these checks were the worst and most painful part of my whole birthing experience. Just thinking about it now (6 months later) make me queasy. That was over and she told us to try and get as much rest in as we could that she would be back in a few hours to check on me. We got settled and I told Matthew he should probably get some sleep. I lightly dozed in and out between the bathroom breaks and cramps/light contractions. The Cytotec was definitely starting to work. I ended up needing another bolus of fluid before the second and final dose of Cytotec. The second round was administered at 4:15am and she did another (painful, painful) check, still no dilation and my cervix was still high. To say I was extremely disappointed and disheartened at this point was an understatement. We tried to get a little more rest in before shift change. The cramping had definitely picked up and I was just praying that was my body gearing up for what it was made to do.

Thursday, October 3rd - Hudson's birthday!!
At shift change our new nurse walked in and it was nurse K from Friday. We were so excited to have her again- I almost cried! My Doctor made rounds at 7:30 and we were his first stop. He checked for dilation and it was just as painful, but this time it came with good news. I was dilated to a 2 and was 70% effaced. Before I knew it he broke my water and told nurse K to start the Pitocin and to get the peanut ball. 

Sent this snap to friends who were waiting on updates!

One of my biggest requests was to have the peanut ball while in active labor. I truly believe that ball helps with progression. My doctor did warn us that my cervix was still pretty high. We asked if that was normal and he said it wasn't and that it was probably going to be a pretty long day for us all. Again, so disappointed, but I was happy with the progress that my body was making and I prayed for more. I felt a little achy and nurse K informed me that I had a low grade fever. She said I was okay to take Tylenol and that it was probably from the flu shot I had gotten the morning before at the doctor's office, but she would keep an eye on it. Thankfully it never got any higher. Nurse K also advised that whenever I felt close to wanting the epidural that I needed to let her know because it could sometimes take 30-45 minutes to flag down the Anesthesiologist.

Our families started to arrive just shortly after that and it was just the best morning. I told Matthew I wanted our families there in the room with us until I started experiencing some really painful contractions. My parents, Matthew's parents, two of my sisters, my mema and uncle Robbie were there. It was fun visiting with everyone and definitely helped pass the time and kept my mind occupied so I didn't have time to lay around and worry. Every 30 minutes nurse K would come in and help me flip to the other side with the peanut ball. Over the next two hours my contractions picked up. The Pitocin was working and they were getting stronger. Close to 9:00am I told Matthew we better let nurse K know that I would be wanting the epidural soon. My biggest fear with waiting to get the epidural was that the contractions would hurt so bad that I wouldn't be able to sit still while the Anesthesiologist administered it. Thankfully nurse K was able to locate him quickly and he administered the epidural at 9:05am. Getting the epidural wasn't that bad, thankfully I was able to sit still long enough for him to administer it. When I am in pain I shake and so I was shaking a good but by this point. I felt immediate relief on my right side, but could still feel the contractions very strongly on my left side. Nurse K told us to give it a few minutes and that sometimes it take a bit to work its way over. After about 30 minutes I still wasn't feeling any relief on my left side. At this point I was not able to talk through the contractions and they were coming closely together. Matthew held my hand and rubbed my back as I was shaking A LOT. Nurse K said we should probably flip me to the other side to see if that would help. Thankfully after about 10 more minutes I started to feel relief. my Doctor made another round and thought we should probably go on and check to see if I had dilated anymore by that point since my contractions were so strong. He checked and I was dilated to a 5 (!!!!!!) we were all SO SHOCKED and happy! That check also didn't hurt as badly as the other ones had. My family came back into the room after that, the epidural was working and I was feeling great and very encouraged by my body's progression. We all chatted for a little over an hour or so until around 11:45am, nurse K wanted to check and see where I was after telling her I thought I felt a little pressure. She checked and quickly jumped up and said I was dilated to a 10 +2. Our jaws about hit the floor. She told me not to move and that she was going to call my doctor to let him know that he should start heading our way ASAP. Matthew went out to the waiting room to let our family know. They were all just as shocked and I remember thinking, "well I didn't even get to tell our families bye"...like we were going somewhere lol. Matthew and I could not even believe it. We were about to meet Hudson and I could not stop smiling.

Things started moving quickly and I was so overwhelmed. Nurse K wanted to start doing some practice pushes before my doctor got there (I think we all know what "practice pushes" are for...if you know, you know) and I told her I didn't think I even knew how to push (LOL). She got the stirrups up and put my legs into them and told me to grab under my knees, push with my bottom, and pull my legs back with each push. I pulled back on my leg too far and forgot I had ZERO control over my bottom half and my leg came out of the stirrup and kicked Nurse K, we all laughed and she helped me get my leg back in the stirrup. I will always, always, go for the epidural, if available, but man, is it WEIRD not being able to feel anything and have zero control of your lower half! We did some practice pushes and Nurse K told me to just push when I was ready and felt pressure. I kept feeling pressure and was ready to push. I always remember reading birth stories where women would say they couldn't stop their body from pushing and I get it now!! I would feel pressure and my body would have the urge to push...absolutely incredible. After a few minutes Nurse K told me we needed to wait on my doctor before we pushed anymore. Thankfully he walked in right as she finished saying that because there was really no stopping at that point. My doctor walked in laughing and said, "remember how I told y'all earlier this morning that things weren't really normal? Well this isn't normal either". He truly (along with every other person in that room) didn't think I would have Hudson until later that day. Behind him came in a bunch of other nurses. They all suited up and another contraction hit and I started pushing. It got HOT and I was so thankful for remembering to pack the stroller fan and had it clipped to the hospital bed rail. 

We didn't count how many pushes, but before I knew it my doctor said, "okay, Shelby, one more and he will be here", and I think that was the hardest push because the tears just started flowing, but after that push he was here. At 12:27pm, after 27 minutes of pushing, our sweet boy was here and laying on my chest. My doctor held him up and said "hey little buddy, welcome, I know someone who wants to meet you" and laid him on my chest. His first little cry was music to my ears and made my entire world stop and time truly stood still in that moment. He was just perfect. He snuggled right up into my neck and had his little hand on my neck and stopped crying and I was just in Heaven. Matthew proudly cut the cord and we just stood there for a few minutes taking in every second of Hudson's first few moments. 

After a little bit of skin to skin time they took him over to the warmer that was setup in our room to weigh him and such. Matthew followed them over and took pictures while my doctor stitched me up- I had a 2nd degree tear. 

8lbs, 2oz and 20.5in long

After that they brought him back over quickly and we did more skin to skin and he nursed for the first time. A lactation nurse was in there with us and he latched all on his own, perfectly the very first time. I was THRILLED and shocked! The lactation nurse was shocked he did so well on his own the very first time as well. The boy was hungry! She said "oh you got it down, he is going to nurse his whole first year" and then she said something that I have said to myself a million times over since he has been born, "never give up on a bad day". I am so thankful our hospital has onsite lactation nurses. What a huge blessing to our nursing journey! We did more skin to skin and then Matthew held him for the first time!! 

The very best sight to see, my two guys!

We didn't have a birth plan written out or many requests other than a few:
1. We wanted Hudson to stay with us at all times. I wanted him to be weighed and such in our room, not taken to the nursery for all of that.
2. I wanted to do skin to skin immediately after he was born, if possible.
3. I wanted to try and nurse him very soon after he was born, again, if possible. 
4. We wanted the first hour after he was born to be just the three of us (nurses were in and out) before we started letting family/friends come meet him. 
5. I wanted the peanut ball, if available, while in active labor. I will definitely ask for this every single time. I am a believer in the peanut ball!
6. I wanted to forgo a bath for Hudson until after he was 24 hours old. With our next baby I will opt to forgo the bath all together while in the hospital. 

We made nurse K and our doctor aware of these things from the beginning and they were 100% on board with our few requests and I am so happy that we were able to do all of that. It ended up being almost two hours before our family and friends got to meet him because I bled a little more than the nurses would have liked so they were monitoring that/changing the bed pads. We just soaked up the time just the three of us and it was perfect. Thankfully the bleeding calmed down and we were ready to let family come meet him.


Proud grandparents!

I was moved to my postpartum recovery room and we had family and friends come meet him all afternoon and night. It was the most perfect day and everything we could have hoped for. Hudson was healthy, perfect and so loved and we were surrounded by our family and friends.

I still did not have any feeling back in my left leg, from the epidural, by late afternoon. I had to have a nurse assist me to the bathroom because I couldn't even lift my leg still. I will sing praises to L&D nursers for the rest of my life. They are truly heroes and never once made me feel embarrassed for needing help. They helped me every single time I had to go to the bathroom...again, if you know, you know...talk about humbling. I actually didn't get feeling back in my left leg until around 1:00am that morning. I had to have help going to the bathroom one last time around 12:30am and I could pretty much walk on my own, but my nurse that night wanted to make sure I could walk completely on my own before she left me do it myself. So thankful I had amazing nursers my whole stay!

That night after everyone had left we tried to get a little bit of rest (very little) in between nursing Hudson and all the cuddles and diaper changes. One of my favorite memories from this day was around 2:00am we were awake and starving so Matthew ordered Steak n Shake via UberEats and had it delivered. We chowed down at 2:00am in our hospital room with our sweet baby beside us. The sweetest times over greasy food that was so delicious lol. I wish I had thought to take a picture, but I was so sleep deprived at that time I don't even think I knew where my phone was.

Saturday, October 5th - Going home!
The rest of our stay was great. We had more great nurses and family and friends were in and out to meet him. It was great, but we were ready to get our boy HOME! My parents came by as we were getting out things ready to leave the hospital to help us. While Matthew was pulling the car up I got Hudson changed into his going home outfit and then quickly realized it was way too big. So we snapped a couple of pictures of him in it and then changed him to our backup going home outfit, ha!


Original going home outfit

 Back up going home outfit that he ended up wearing home.


We arrived home as a family of three and were exhausted, but so incredibly thankful to be home with a healthy baby. Reagan was very confused, but very sweet. She just stared at him and it was adorable!
 Our first night home and his first night in his bassinet! 

Hudson, your daddy and I are just so in love with you, sweet boy!

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